First Place, Last Place

In the year 2019…

The global earth government wages war against the cyber spiderbots of space vietnam. The Astro Popes assination was a catalyst for human reconstruction of earths greatest hero. Thus robot Shaquille O’Neal was assembled. Leading an army of telekineteic hyper swords forged from cromulant superalloys , Shaq formed a desperate alliance with the souls of an ancient alien civilization know as the Cormulaxors. Robot Shaq and the Cormulaxors put fourth a valiant effort but the Space Vietnamese concentrated their forces on free throws and so Robot Shaq was destroyed. Times looked bleak for Earth, but a new hero emerged from the ashes of shaqs grave. With grace and destructive prowess, The fists of nega-Chuck Norris rained down on Earth’s enemies, and over time, evaporated into leadership forming a water-cycle tight bond with all of Earth’s armies. Determind for absolute destrutcion of Earth The Space Vietnamese cyber spiderbots put a distress call to Crystal-Hitler, The cryongenic overloard of the Nazi Iceworld, JewFrosten , formerly known as Pluto. Using manmade black holes, which earth uses to travel now, Crystal-Hitler covered the moon in frozen Anti-sematic remarks. Nega-Norris retaliated witha spin Kick so powerful the moon was destroyed along with several other planets. Crystal_Hitler and Space Vietnam used cuba as a strategic base to counter with A psyonic disturbance beam. killing hundreds and leaving Nega-Norris Weakened. In a last Ditch effort to rid the world of evil, Nega-Norris threw himself into the Mountain dew Reactor Core and formed a wave of Extreme Wild Cherry So powerful it wiped all Life from the galaxy. And so the Earth was saved…or was it?
This is our future… 11 years from now… just be warned.

-Spicy Donut