First Place, Last Place

Now i know… its not current to hate liefeld… but he still gets work … I mean COME ON…. he’s still hired by Marvel and Image to make comics… It’s almost like he’s your semi-retardid little stepbrother and no one wants to tell him his scribbles suck because he’s trying so hard. Its ok little timmy… your never gonna become better if no one tells you what’s wrong.

Captain America is a big bulgy lump of skin… Thats as American as apple pie…just fucked apple pie…

EWW…My name is ron!

you cant draw feet…we know…we know… and its ok…theres help…take a drawing class or two.

Ok well theres a ton more advanced critiques of his work here: http://progressiveboink.com/archive/robliefeld.html

but i thouhgt id share with you some of my favorites.

-Spicy Donut

Points to Note: As you can tell from his expression, EVEN Chris Kattan doesnt know why he’s in this movie.

Why aren’t the names above the respective actor?

If Death becomes them… then why isnt death an option in the title? I mean you’ve got two choices… undead…IE not living but not dead… And Alive… which is also not dead.

In the year 2019…

The global earth government wages war against the cyber spiderbots of space vietnam. The Astro Popes assination was a catalyst for human reconstruction of earths greatest hero. Thus robot Shaquille O’Neal was assembled. Leading an army of telekineteic hyper swords forged from cromulant superalloys , Shaq formed a desperate alliance with the souls of an ancient alien civilization know as the Cormulaxors. Robot Shaq and the Cormulaxors put fourth a valiant effort but the Space Vietnamese concentrated their forces on free throws and so Robot Shaq was destroyed. Times looked bleak for Earth, but a new hero emerged from the ashes of shaqs grave. With grace and destructive prowess, The fists of nega-Chuck Norris rained down on Earth’s enemies, and over time, evaporated into leadership forming a water-cycle tight bond with all of Earth’s armies. Determind for absolute destrutcion of Earth The Space Vietnamese cyber spiderbots put a distress call to Crystal-Hitler, The cryongenic overloard of the Nazi Iceworld, JewFrosten , formerly known as Pluto. Using manmade black holes, which earth uses to travel now, Crystal-Hitler covered the moon in frozen Anti-sematic remarks. Nega-Norris retaliated witha spin Kick so powerful the moon was destroyed along with several other planets. Crystal_Hitler and Space Vietnam used cuba as a strategic base to counter with A psyonic disturbance beam. killing hundreds and leaving Nega-Norris Weakened. In a last Ditch effort to rid the world of evil, Nega-Norris threw himself into the Mountain dew Reactor Core and formed a wave of Extreme Wild Cherry So powerful it wiped all Life from the galaxy. And so the Earth was saved…or was it?
This is our future… 11 years from now… just be warned.

-Spicy Donut

chris croker should be sacrificing a goat to them right about now.

Here’s what the mack daddy had to say:

It’s no secret that Britney Spears went off the deep-end, and hasn’t surfaced since, but did anyone expect Jamie Lynn Spears to follow in big sister’s foot steps in the crazy sand?

Answer: Yes.

We all took bets, bought the domain names for our Jaime Lynn Turns 18 countdown sites, and caught that one guy we knew watching her show, but then changed it really fast when you walked in the room. Who would have thought that Jaime Lynn would’ve been a mommy at 16, why she’ll be a MILF by 17!

The littlest Spears may have ruined Thanksgiving, Christmas, and possibly her whole career, but Britney wont let her have the spotlight for long. She is nuts off her rocker afterall. Her neverending custody battle for baby1 and baby2, against KFed proves to be it’s own bad day time soap in the making.

My prediction for 2008 for the Spears clan, Britney holds a Starbucks barista hostage and jets for Mexico City, Jaime Lynn Spears does another season of her show on Nickelodeon and then is replaced by a horse made out of coconuts, and Lynne Spears the ever money grubby matriarch will publish her book on how to mess the children up. Or maybe Lynne can focus all her attention to other members of the family, like Britney’s ex-personal assistant turned delusional wannabe Norah Jones, Alli Sims.

So mazel tov to the Spears Family, may they provide many more FTLs in 2008.

An obvious failure returns to fail yet again…

heres what barax123 had to say on the subject:

Well, I was going through my mother’s issue of Entertainment Weekly while eating dinner one night and saw that the Spice Girls are coming back. Seriously? The Spice Girls…. coming back?

Okay, for an all-girl band that started in the 1994 and left us in 2001, they have come a long way. I can give them that. But what I can’t seem to see is why in the world would they want to come back? Have they heard themselves? Or even seen themselves? Plastic-surgery is all that’s left of the Spice Girls. Also, they didn’t really do anything to change the music label. Victoria Beckham (AKA Posh Spice) says that they left a big mark on music to this day. What a load of crap. All that they left was fake boobs.

So do we really want the Spice Girls back? Do we want our world destroyed by “Spice Terrorist”? No! We want a world of obese people and gun-violence! That’s why I want you to vote for Hillary Clinton for president. Because every time she farts, a kid cries. Thank you!

*This message is supported by the Hillary Clinton Group Of Clintons*

They are weird and they hate jews and small children.

’nuff said.

Hey Little Timmy!

Feel unpopular with the ladies. All the other kids getting in that cubby hole but you? Now there’s a new way to get some of that Pre-K poon!!!

Aqua Dots! Worthy of many exclamation points, Aqua Dots have been recalled across the globe due to the glue like substance coated on its many colorful balls. This glue has the same properties as some of your favorite date rape drugs. And kids just can’t get enough of the stuff. With its patented dot-release syringe© you too can make a rufie-colada just like dad. And all the colors will make sure the only blue balls you see are in your classmates’ juice.

And that’s not all… with a little imagination you can Aqua Dot your own shankin knife for when the bitch wakes up and tattles.

Alright little timmy have fun out there and as the Aqua Dots Motto says: “If she doesn’t remember… it didn’t happen.”

for the real story check out:

http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSN0758602120071107

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…

Oh Holy christ… A video game featuring an FUnicorn rip off. We would demand royalties but we all know there weren’t any.

I’d like to take a moment to recognize the game designers, the modelers, the lighters, the concept artists, the riggers, the guy who sat through hours of code trying to make the unicorn model work in the engine… and just let them know that they wasted months of their life working toward this when they could have used their talents for someting that didn’t suck. And also I can’t wait for chapter two: the shady bunny.

-Spicy Donut

P.S. What’s with the horny skeletons?

“What’s the first thing you do when your laptop catches on fire?

Don’t look for a fire extinguisher, GRAB YOUR CAMERA! This proud owner, is proud to the bittersweet end as his laptop battery decides to permaban itself and related laptop from life. Hopefully the fire didn’t spread as far to find the flask of hard liquor for when the days are just too hard to bear.” – Mack Daddy

In light of all the computer problems we’ve been having here at LPC i think this is appropriate.

This same thing happened to a supporter of us, Garrett, a while back. The funny thing is that he was on call with Dell’s Indian tech support and the directions they gave him actually caused the thing to ignite on his lap. Had his genitals been any larger (he he) he might have had a good lawsuit going.

Heres to Dell as the failure of the week… and Garrett’s genitals

Thank you tootie. Without your contribution this Wal-mart would have spills.

Tootie is a god among men. Avert your  stupid unworthy eyes!